Wednesday, December 20, 2006

Fear can block the Still small voice

As I wrote in my journal this morning, recounting events of the past day, I realized something new about myself.

I am very absent-minded, and over the years I have developed coping skills that have not been consciously created or thought out well. I realized that one of these is that when faced with something to organize in my life, such as the paperwork I need to complete for my entrance into the School of the Spirit this Spring, I tend to want it all done and sent off immediately. I think this is so I don't forget to do a part or wait until the last minute. This may sound admirable on the surface, but such haste doesn't leave room for that still small voice to guide me. Instead I am left with feeling overwhelmed and burdened.

One piece of paperwork I have to submit is the list of people on my Care Committee. I do have three people, including my husband Mark, but have felt there should be one or two more. I have not been able to name these last two people. I have had a vague sense that something would happen or someone would just ask. Faced with a deadline to submit the names, I felt a little panic. Panic is not good for that small still voice!

The Spirit came to my rescue yesterday, however, in a phone call from a Friend who expressed concerns over the selection of the Care Committee. How could she have known since I didn't communicate my concern to her? She must have listened to her small voice. She advised me to contact the Ministry and Worship committee of my monthly meeting for suggestions. I emailed the clerk of M & W and felt so light and free. I know I can trust in the Spirit to guide this choice.

So I struggle to take things one step at a time - without fear - and try to search for the stillness.

2 comments:

Liz Opp said...

Ceal,

It sounds as if your discipline of waiting for the Spirit has borne some fruit. Still, impatience is most certainly a part of the human condition and my guess is each of us will continue to be given many "opportunities" to practice waiting and listening for the Guide.

Blessings,
Liz Opp, The Good Raised Up

quakerboy said...

Yo' girl! What a treat to find you on the blogsphere!

Big hug your way.

-Craig (& Steve)