Fear can block the Still small voice

As I wrote in my journal this morning, recounting events of the past day, I realized something new about myself.

I am very absent-minded, and over the years I have developed coping skills that have not been consciously created or thought out well. I realized that one of these is that when faced with something to organize in my life, such as the paperwork I need to complete for my entrance into the School of the Spirit this Spring, I tend to want it all done and sent off immediately. I think this is so I don't forget to do a part or wait until the last minute. This may sound admirable on the surface, but such haste doesn't leave room for that still small voice to guide me. Instead I am left with feeling overwhelmed and burdened.

One piece of paperwork I have to submit is the list of people on my Care Committee. I do have three people, including my husband Mark, but have felt there should be one or two more. I have not been able to name these last two people. I have had a vague sense that something would happen or someone would just ask. Faced with a deadline to submit the names, I felt a little panic. Panic is not good for that small still voice!

The Spirit came to my rescue yesterday, however, in a phone call from a Friend who expressed concerns over the selection of the Care Committee. How could she have known since I didn't communicate my concern to her? She must have listened to her small voice. She advised me to contact the Ministry and Worship committee of my monthly meeting for suggestions. I emailed the clerk of M & W and felt so light and free. I know I can trust in the Spirit to guide this choice.

So I struggle to take things one step at a time - without fear - and try to search for the stillness.